Overheard in Iowa

Guy 1: What did you do this weekend?
Guy 2: Saw Ron Paul speak in Cedar Rapids.
Guy 1: The porn star?
Guy 2: No, he’s running for president.
Guy 1: The porn star guy is running for president?
Guy 2: Never mind, dude.

An obese guy wearing a cowboy belt buckle and boots gets on the Orange Route bus. A girl wearing a tube top and gaps between each tooth walks in behind and they sit down together.
Guy: I can’t believe we are not hanging out tonight.
Girl: I told you I made plans in Story City a month ago!
Guy: Well, you’re supposed to be hanging out with me. We never hang out anymore and we are boyfriend and girlfriend!
Girl: We were supposed to hang out this past Saturday and Sunday but we didn’t! You were not f—ing there.
Guy: I had a change of plans!
Girl: Change of plans?! Mutha f—er you were in jail!

A girl is sitting next to me on the bus talking to her friends.
Girl: Look at my hand
Friends: Oh my god. It looks awful.
Girl: Yeah the doctor said I should wrap it but I didn’t want to because I have class.
Friends: Oh ok.
Girl: Yeah so my boyfriend was looking at the stove after it set fire and he was like “Do you know there is a fire extinguisher under here?” I said I had no idea.
Friends: So how did the fire start?
Girl: We were just cooking vegetables and they caught on fire. We tried pouring water on the fire but it just spread and went EVERYWHERE. Now I have second degree burns covering my whole hand.
(I see the girl’s mangeled hand.)
Me: I am guessing you were using cooking oil and it started on fire and you tried to put it out with water.
Girl: Yeah. I guess you’re not supposed to do that. Who would have thought that was common knowledge!

People say the darnedest things. We want to capture the most hilarious overheard conversations in Iowa. It’s easy to share your overheards, so let’s get going.