Overheard in Iowa

A twenty-something girl ordering food at the Des Moines Downtown Farmers’ Market:

To her friend: “I think bacon is Iowa’s version of candy.”

Turns to vendor: “I’ll take four slices of meat candy, please.”

A twenty-something guy to his girlfriend, overheard while walking by their apartment:

“Did you just ask if you could check my prostate?”

Two middle-school kids get on the bus and pay with a dollar coin.

Girl: ”Was that a Jefferson coin?”
Boy: “I don’t care… Jefferson never did nothin’ for me.  King is my boy!”
Girl: “But, Jefferson was President, King wasn’t.”
Boy: “Okay, but who fought for our people? Not Jefferson.”

Boy: “King is my boy.”

Two fake-baked girls, both wearing those awful Ugg boots, drinking something from Starbucks that sounds Italian, but when they say it, it’s not a language at all.

Girl 1: So, did you see the Super Bowl on TV?
Girl 2: Yeah, I really only watch for the commercials though.
Girl 1: Who did you want to win?
Girl 2: I liked New England because it’s pretty and the quarterback is hot.
Girl 1: I’ve never been to New England… It must be really small, because I can never find it on the map…

I’m walking out of Maucker Union and there is the usual group of smokers out front. I can usually pick bits and pieces out of conversation, but this was just great. This girl is yelling about how her boyfriend has been told by the doctor to lose weight, he is too large. So she starts ripping into fat people, saying she can’t understand how people can continue to do something that makes them sick. She then proceeds to smoke almost an entire pack while on her rant. I’m wondering… This person got into college?