Overheard in Iowa

A young couple at the Civic Center:

To her boyfriend: “I love looking through playboys.”

Her boyfriend smiles and waits…

She says: “…Playbills.”

A twenty-something girl ordering food at the Des Moines Downtown Farmers’ Market:

To her friend: “I think bacon is Iowa’s version of candy.”

Turns to vendor: “I’ll take four slices of meat candy, please.”

A twenty-something guy to his girlfriend, overheard while walking by their apartment:

“Did you just ask if you could check my prostate?”

Two middle-school kids get on the bus and pay with a dollar coin.

Girl: ”Was that a Jefferson coin?”
Boy: “I don’t care… Jefferson never did nothin’ for me.  King is my boy!”
Girl: “But, Jefferson was President, King wasn’t.”
Boy: “Okay, but who fought for our people? Not Jefferson.”

Boy: “King is my boy.”

Two fake-baked girls, both wearing those awful Ugg boots, drinking something from Starbucks that sounds Italian, but when they say it, it’s not a language at all.

Girl 1: So, did you see the Super Bowl on TV?
Girl 2: Yeah, I really only watch for the commercials though.
Girl 1: Who did you want to win?
Girl 2: I liked New England because it’s pretty and the quarterback is hot.
Girl 1: I’ve never been to New England… It must be really small, because I can never find it on the map…