Overheard in Iowa

During the Des Moines Arts Festival, one man holds the door of the Des Moines Social Club open for another man:

Man walking in: “Oh great, is there smoking in here?”

Man holding the door, confused: “Uh, no.”

Man walking in, annoyed: “What kind of social club is this?”

Man holding the door: “It is one in Iowa.”

A brunette on her cellphone walking into the building where we just had class. She loudly asked her friend over the phone…

“Is she married,… or just pregnant?”

(Submitted by Elveidn)

At the Veterinary Clinic…

Receptionist: And what’s the cat’s name?

Man dropping off the calico cat: Her name is “Cali”.  (Spelling:) C-A-L-I. And, she writes a little heart over the “i” instead of a dot.

Receptionist: Okay, wait. Who writes the heart?

Two old ladies in Hy-Vee…

Old Lady 1: My grandson is such a wussy.
Old Lady 2: What’s a wussy? Like a pussy?
Old Lady 1: Much worse dear, much worse.

Submitted by Tim

Two guys talking after class…

Guy 1: Jeet yet?
Guy 2: Nah.
Guy 1: You unt to?
Guy 2: A’ight.
Guy 1: A’ight, letskoeat.

Overheard elsewhere on campus, and quite possibly what these two guys ate:

“An Iowa 7-course meal: A 6-pack of beer & a hot dog.”